Every Friday, we bring you the stories that have slipped through the cracks and dub them the Nine News Nuggets You Need To Know.
Here's what nuggets we found this week!
Honorable Mention: Zoo In China Stages Phony Panda Exhibit In Which Two Dogs With Dyed Fur Were The Main Attraction
9 - Brazen burglars steal $250k in cash by cutting hole into the roof of Onyx strip club
8 - Wisconsin eighth grader takes the wheel of his school bus after driver loses consciousness
7 - Woman was living inside rooftop grocery store sign with computer and coffee maker for a year
5 - Bag of snakes found in passenger's pants at Miami International Airport
4 - 'Irate male' assaulted Newfoundland officers with block of cheese, police say
3 - The Twins and their lucky home run sausage are home safely with the winning streak still intact
2 - Jail For Man In Pink Dildo Domestic Attack
1 - Man suffers from severely swollen penis for 17 YEARS due to silent infection with worms