Well here he is, folks.
The guy you clicked a link just to look at.
The guy YOU wanted to learn everything about, because his tale sounded just so amazing.
I give you, Michael Larocco:
And before you ask, the answer is "yes" - This is the same Michael Larocco who was recently caught trying to shoplift over $120 worth of goods from a Louisville "Family Dollar" store.
The fiasco started when police received a call that a white male in a red shirt was found in the act of shoplifting. Once law enforcement arrived at the scene, they discovered the 33-year-old with his pants - not around his ankles - but stuffed with ham.
The same Michael Larocco who was caught trying to steal 99 Pokemon cards, a pair of shoes and socks, and yes, the same Michael Larocco who was caught trying to steal chopped ham, by stuffing it down his pants and into his underwear.
Larocco has admitted that he originally intended to steal much less, but when he was accosted by a Family Dollar employee, it set him over the edge and drove him to steal more.
Read more about Larocco's Larsony over at WDRB.