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What is “Intentional Dating?”
- Being honest with yourself and others that you are looking for a committed relationship.
- Really think about what YOU want, not how you can behave to appeal to someone.
- Being honest with yourself about your status in the mating marketplace - Prioritizing quality over quantity. Avoiding “paradox of choice”
- Considering the consequences of sex (no such things as no strings attached sex)
- Making decisions to love instead of being emotionally hijacked by love - Intentional love is the decision to give, based on information gathered
How to Intentionally Date:
1. Ditch your fears of abandonment – If you are more worried that a potential mate will abandon you than be a good match for you, then you are dating at a disadvantage.
2. Ditch the idea that physical attraction is paramount.
3. Be very clear from the first date about what you’re looking for. Never think or say, “Looking for something casual and we’ll see what happens.” Instead try this: "I’m curious to see where this goes. I do want a committed relationship. Of course, we don’t know each other well enough to say this is it. But I’m not looking for a casual hookup.”
4. Have genuine conversations – Ditch the games and be upfront
5. Set boundaries, even if your date seems perfect. Don’t do booty calls. Don’t cancel plans because of a last-minute invitation. Practice self-care.
6. Reframe ghosting. Celebrate when inappropriate mates leave early. The goal of catching a like-minded mate, is achieved by letting the wrong ones swim away.
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