Sometimes friends give the worst relationship advice. Things you should never listen to include:
1. Stop being so picky. Actually, Having standards about how someone treats you and the values you share is essential for finding the right match for you.
2. When you know, you know. If you walk into every date assuming that “when you know, you’ll know,” you may decline a connection that could have grown into so much more because you’re not convinced that this person is your soulmate. Attraction to someone can grow significantly over time. Research has shown that the mere exposure effect can create love. It is a psychological phenomenon that indicates the more exposed you are to something or someone you feel neutral about, the more likely you are to have positive feelings towards that thing or person.
3. If you’re not feeling sparks on the first date, they’re not the one. For some people, this initial spark may actually be anxiety because they have an anxious attachment style. Sometimes sparks, fireworks, and butterflies are an indicator that some part of you is feeling anxious or on edge, but you’re interpreting it as having strong chemistry.
4. It will happen when you least expect it. Your ideal partner isn’t going to just drop out of the sky; it’s usually going to require some thoughtful intention and action on your part to meet new people.
5. You can’t love anyone until you love yourself. This is a common misconception that gets tossed around a lot. While it’s true that you cannot have a healthy relationship if you expect your partner to make you happy and depend on them for everything, you can work on your relationship with yourself while being in one with someone else.
6. People can change; just give them a chance. Starting a relationship with the hope that someone will change is similar to accepting crumbs and hoping for a meal that never arrives. While people can change over time, you are dating the person in front of you and not their potential, so if you’re concerned about what you’re observing, it’s important to pay attention to your feelings.
For more information check out Psychology Today!