Love is a tricky thing. If you believe these things, you are probably getting in your own way. Let's unlearn these myths.
1. Opposites Attract – NOPE! An Italian study of 345 volunteers found that compatible partners are more likely to create a stronger emotional bond, communicate better, and cooperate more. Also, they invest more time and money in their kids and their children’s health and longevity can improve. Personality differences may add drama and excitement to a relationship, but that don’t bring peace, care, or security, important ingredients for love.
2. Don’t Settle for Anything Other Than a Soulmate! Nope! Soulmates don’t exist. The notion of soulmate is the experience of the neurochemicals of falling in love. People with good relationship skills find many, many soulmates.
3. Happy Couples Never Fight. Nope! Healthy conflict is part of intimacy. Not fighting is a symptom of avoidance.
4. A Relationship is Successful if it Lasts Forever. Nope! When ‘til Death do us part was invented, death was imminent. Our long lifespans mean that even monogamous people may have two or three long stints of monogamy in their lifespan with some mate selection in between (dating.) People learn and grow through each break up. Also, unhappy relationships sometimes last a long time.
5. Love just “happens” and can’t be controlled. Nope! Unconscious processes lead us replicate some of our early childhood dynamics in relationships, but going to therapy and breaking those patterns can help us make love happen with the right person. We can control who we fall in love with.
6. Love will conquer all. Nope! Timing and good relationship skills will conquer all
For more information check out Forbes!