Dr. Wendy After Dark

Dr. Wendy After Dark

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How to Protect Your Relationship From Cheating?

Couple wearing a blanket

Photo: Getty Images

The absolutely worst and most painful form of cheating is one that involves many meetings, is pre-meditated (intentional) and involves not only sex but also romantic non-sexual activities, such as going out to dinners, chatting the night away over a bottle of wine or watching shows on television.

Infidelity makes you feel that you are not good enough. Your self-esteem plummets from reasonably high, or just okay, to close to zero. Your beloved found someone who was better and more attractive than you in his or her eyes—at least temporarily. You feel like trash, unworthy of being loved, unworthy of being.

1. Take your partner’s perspective- A study published in the Journal of Sex Research shows ‘perspective-taking’ to be an effective technique to avoid future infidelity. “taking a partner's viewpoint increases commitment and desire for the partner while decreasing sexual and romantic interest in alternative partners.”

2. Be sexually curious- The security and comfort of a long-term relationship can sometimes dampen sexual passion. Familiar routines and rhythms can slowly sap away at the erotic space you share. This is why it is important to establish a channel of open and authentic sexual communication in your relationship. According to sex researcher and NYU professor Zhana Vrangalova, the risk of infidelity increases with time in any relationship because of our unfulfilled need for novelty. This can only be counteracted by having conversations about your sexual fantasies and desires.

3. Keep the phone away- According to a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, our phone and the internet provides us with a unique way to form deep emotional and sexual connections with a certain degree of detachment, since they are virtual. This can lead to a phenomenon known as internet infidelity.

Finding emotional intimacy online is not a crime, but things can get ugly when your virtual bonds overtake your real-life relationships.

For more information, check out Forbes.

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