(Joanne Carr - Courtesy of Martin County Sheriff's Office)
I'm sorry, but I had to paraphrase Joanne Carr in the headline of this post. Honestly, there just wasn't enough room to include every word that her 73-year-old silver tongue spit at deputies when she was arrested for DUI in Massachusetts.
First off, before I bless you with her fine words, I must tell you that she is a thick-tongued woman.
(That's the deputies' description, not mine.)
As odd as it sounds, the description does add to the amusement when you imagine her hurling insults at deputies.
It all started when authorities found her car crashed after driving over some recently planted trees and a fence.
Since she smelled like alcohol, had an open bottle of Smirnoff in the front seat, and admitted to drinking vodka since 8 a.m., deputies explained that they were going to do a DUI investigation.
Carr wasn't too fond of the idea.
“The hell you are."
She also refused to take a sobriety test.
“You’re not taking me anywhere but home you (expletive) pig, I mean cow. Moooooo."
They took her to jail.
Don't think Carr went away easy, though. She made sure she gave deputies a piece of her mind on the way in, calling them all sorts of names...
“pig, sow, cow, (derogatory term), (derogatory term), (derogatory term), (expletive) and (expletive)"
Once they got her to the station, it was determined that her blood-alcohol content was .247.
Read the full story at TC Palm