Have You Ever Considered a Love Contract?

Being in love is not easy.  Never has been, never will be.

That is not to say it is not amazing and beautiful in a lot of ways.  However, anyone who has ever been in love will tell you that it is not always perfect and it is not always smooth.

There is no clear cut way to solve the issues that will inevitably arise.  When two people are with one another that often and that intensely, problems will occur and solutions must be found.

Have you ever wondered if there's a way to help avoid some of these situations?  Well, there may be one.

A love contract.

Yes, a love contract.  Although it sounds very intense and not very "love-like," the whole purpose is simply to ease communication and understanding.

Often times, problems occur in relationships because one of the members accidentally hurts the other, simply because they were unaware of what the other person wanted or needed from the interaction.

Finances, vacations, friends, date nights, romantic needs, alone time.  All of these things, and more, can be the basis of conflict.  

One of you wants to split the bill at restaurants while the other does not.  One person is okay with friends spending the night while the other is not.  One wants to go on a lot of little weekend trips while the other prefers big, multi-week trips.  All of these are real-life, common situations that cause conflict.

A love contract helps avoid these issues.  When both sides sit down and type out exactly what they want and expect from the other person and the relationship as a whole, then everyone knows the "rules of the game" and can better understand the other side. 

Certainly, there are other options and other ways to increase communication and understanding, but, if these issues are real and present for you, a love contract may help.

Read the full story at The New York Times

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