(Dean Hoffmann - Courtesy of Sheboygan County Sheriff's Office)
Hoffmann, Hoffmann, Hoffmann...
What is going on with your family? We thought you came from good stock. Looks like we were wrong.
And don't you dare say there's no relation, because everyone knows that double-"n" Hoffmanns are few and far between.
Whatever, we'll pretend like this Hoffmann isn't related to our Hoffmann (even though we all know that he probably is).
It turns out that pizza delivery guys are heroes to more people than just frat boys.
Take Joey Grundl, for example.
He was making his delivery rounds for Domino's Pizza this week when he came to a house in Waldo, Wisconsin.
When Dean Hoffmann opened the door, this normal delivery became very abnormal.
Grundl told WTKR all about it:
“It’s kind of scary. Gave him his pizza, and noticed behind him was his girlfriend. She pointed to a black eye that was quite visible. She mouthed the words ‘Call police.'”
He then called 911 and explained the situation to the dispatcher.
“I had a delivery. It was a middle-aged couple. The woman clearly had a black eye.”
It turns out that Hoffmann was the woman's ex-boyfriend. She had broken up with him over the summer and, apparently, he wasn't over it yet.
The woman said that Hoffmann broke into her home and began attacking her when she tried to call the police. He even tied her up with a power chord for about 30 minutes while he tried to convince her to take him back.
(Hey, dude, pro-tip, tying the girl up for relationship negotiations does not get the conversation off to a good start. Just saying...)
Police responded to the situation and Hoffman was ultimately arrested on charges of kidnapping, false imprisonment, strangulation, and suffocation.
Read the full story at New York Post