How are you?

How ARE you?

How....are you.

You get sick of hearing those words from people after someone dies.

I know I'm guilty of doing it to others, and please don't get me wrong, I appreciate everyone's concern.  

It just becomes the single hardest question to answer.

How am I?

Let's see.  

In the last year and a half, my mother-in-law died, my father battled health issues for months before he died, sometimes in excruciating pain, then my husband's uncle, his father's twin brother, passed away suddenly.

I want to stay at home in bed, with the covers pulled up over my head.  I don't want to go to work, I don't want to go shopping, hell, most days I don't even feel like taking a shower. (But I do)

Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm not. It depends on the day, the hour, sometimes even the minute.  

You can only take it as it comes.

But, I have realized that it's ok to laugh, it's ok to feel good...and it's also ok to feel bad, to suddenly burst into tears for no reason.

It's ok to think that none of this stuff matters in the end.

With all that said, you have to move on, you have to life your life as best as you can, and in that, you honor the ones you have loved and lost.

So, right now.  I'm ok.  Thank you for asking.