Woman Drunk On Vanilla Extract Arrested For DUI

Humans like to party.  And when they want to party - I mean like, really wanna party - they'll do what they gotta to make it happen.

On Wednesday, local law enforcement discovered 50-year-old Stefanie Warner-Grise in her car at in intersection with her eyes closed.  After they started asking her questions, they detected the tell-tale odor of vanilla on her breath.

To make matters worse, Warner-Grise was slurring her speech and was unable to answer even the most rudimentary of questions.

It was then that the officers noticed several empty bottles of pure vanilla extract strewn about inside the vehicle.

Yeah.  You read that right.  Pure. Vanilla. Extract.

What did you expect?  I already told you that humans do what they gotta do to make that party happen.  

She wanted the pure stuff, and she didn't mess around.

Too bad it wasn't worth it.  Warner-Grise both failed her sobriety test and refused to take a blood alcohol test, leaving the cops with all they needed to see and arrested her for DUI.

So now we get to the good stuff:  just how much alcohol is in pure vanilla extract?  That is, how drunk can one get by chugging it?

The FDA mandates a minimum of 35% alcohol in pure vanilla extract, making it on par with your favorite traditional 70 proof vodka.

While the prospect of a totally vanilla alcoholic shot might seem ideal when compared to the fire-water we call hard alcohol, the Conway Crew simply cannot advocate following in Stefanie Warner-Grise's footsteps here.  They make straight alcohol for drinking.  

Whatever her circumstances might have been leading up to that fateful Wednesday afternoon, at least she didn't resort to stealing booze!  

Photos by Getty Images.

Tim Conway Jr

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