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Planting Trees As Revenge

Petty revenge is usually something people fantasize about after some jerk cuts them off, or being slighted by a family member or co-worker. That is, it's the type of thing that would majorly inconvience our target without actually hurting them. 

Most people console themselves with an unhealthy dose of passive-aggressive behavior, but others, like this Arborist in Redondo Beach takes his petty revenge to a new level. 

Let's set the stage for our story. 

One this side of the stage is our nameless arborist. More than 30 years ago, he planted the pepper tree in his front yard, cultivating and watching it grow through the years. He'd even taken to naming his precious tree 'Clyde', and was happy in the knowledge that the tree would continue on providing shade for years after he passed on. 

But now, after 33 years of growth, the Redondo Beach City Council had a problem. The pepper tree's root system had spread and was beginning to crack and damage a nearby sidewalk. 

After a brief inspection, the city council issued an order that the man's beloved pepper tree needed to be removed and the homeowner pay for the damages to the sidewalk and tree removal.

But, after he was forced to take Clyde down, he decided to take petty revenge on the city council and mayor that had forced him to removed his beloved 'Clyde.' 

The plan began a little over two and a half years ago when the arborist began surreptitiously planting California Redwood and Giant Sequoia trees in various parks, yards and state properties around Redondo Beach. Because no one has (presumably) removed the saplings, the root systems have already grown and spread to be more than 30' in diameter, making the removal of the 100 trees an expensive proposition for the city. 

Now, it should be said that the story sounds almost too good to be true. It has all the hallmarks of some guy getting on the internet to tell lies about good revenge gone right. 

That said, it won't be hard to verify the arborist's claims if we start seeing 45 California Redwoods and 82 Giant Sequoias start popping up all over Redondo Beach. 

Let that be a lesson. Never mess with an arborist, they're willing to play the long game. 

The arborist's full post (as it appeared on Reddit) appears below: 

Hi, I'm an arborist. This means I am a professional in the cultivation, management, and study of trees. I love trees. I think they're some of the most beautiful, majestic, ancient living beings on our planet.

Today I am here to tell you a story of death, new life, and revenge. Three years ago today, the city council of Redondo Beach California ordered the death of my 30 year old pepper tree. It's roots had begun to penetrate the pavement in front of my house. The city noticed and issued the death warrant of my tree. They furthermore made me pay for the damages to the sidewalk and for the tree removal.

I loved Clyde. I'm beginning to get older, and planting something that I knew would live well beyond my lifetime was something very special. I took very good care of him. I drained his soil, I gave him a crutch to lean on when he was a young lad, and I watched him grow. Just as Clyde was becoming a strong healthy individual, expanding his root system, developing a canopy, and making his own way in life, the mayor took it upon himself to uproot my beautiful child.

Mayor Steve Aspel. You killed my child.

For this, you will pay. Two years and seven months ago, I secretly planted 45 California Redwoods and 82 Giant Sequoias in various parks, yards, and state properties around your city.

Today, each of their root systems will be at least 30 feet in diameter, and deeply embedded in the soil. You may have noticed the trees growing in front of city council, or that new one that sprouted up in your backyard. That's a Giant Sequoia, and its growth will begin accelerating rapidly in the coming months.

You killed Clyde, but I have replaced him with over 100 living giants. And giant they will become. In a few years, they'll begin breaking heights of 100-300 feet and live well beyond 2,500 years. That's way longer ago than Jesus was born. To remove even one of them at this point will cost well over $1500... And I'm stiffing you with the bill, just like you did to me 3 years ago today.

Good day to you, sir. May your city be overrun by trees. And may Clyde rest in peace.

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