#NNNYNTK - Nine News Nuggets You Need To Know

Every Friday, we bring you the stories that have slipped through the cracks and dub them the Nine News Nuggets You Need To Know.

Here's what nuggets we found this week!

Honorable Mention - Porch pirate disguised as trash bag steals package from home doorstep: VIDEO 

9 - Cicadas are nature’s weirdos. They pee stronger than us and an STD can turn them into zombies 

8 - Paris Olympics lifts intimacy ban for athletes and is stocking up on 300,000 condoms 

7 - Torta used to hide fentanyl in failed smuggling attempt, CBP says 

6 - Man charged after admittedly firing shots to celebrate divorce from wife 

5 - Italian island overrun by goats is offering them free to anyone who can catch them 

4 - Traveler’s ashes — along with her cat’s remains — blasted into space in emotional, out of this world tribute 

3 - Sanctuary throws birthday party for 17-year-old duck 

2 - German police go ‘pantless’ in union video to protest uniform shortage 

1 - Source of ghastly urine-flatulence combination stench boggles Albany officials