Yellowstone National Park officials are now reminding visitors how to handle themselves around wildlife after a video of a man taunting a bison went viral on Wednesday.
Cause, you know, we need to be reminded to stay away from very large horned animals from time to time.
Wait... you're not supposed to get out of your car and tease a huge bison whenever you see one in the road? Oh.
Because we care about you and your safety, we decided we would put together a small list of safety rules!
Without further ado, we present to you....
Gary and Shannon's 10 Official Safety Rules For When You Encounter A Bison And You Really Want To Taunt Him But You Know Deep Down You Shouldn't!:
- When you first see the bison: Stop. Drop. Roll. We know this is what you were always told to do during fires, but your parents lied to you. It's a very important first step after spotting the bison.
- Okay, so you've stopped dropped and rolled. Now, stand back up on your feet before the bison approaches.
- Well done! Now that you're on your feet, rule number 3 is to never touch the bison as it approaches you.
- Step 4? Don't cuddle the bison.
- Also, we know you're tempted, but do not take a selfie with the bison.
- Slowly pull out your wallet if you have it handy. Show the bison your drivers license, so that it knows you are at least 21-years of age just in case you guys do get along and want to grab a drink once this is all settled.
- Now, slowly back away from the bison.
- Is your car around? Hopefully it still is. Go ahead and slowly get back into your car.
- Buckle your seat belt. This is a VERY important step. The last thing you want is to get a ticket for not being buckled in. Bison sighting + traffic ticket = a very bad day.
- Well done! You've survived this bison sighting all the way to step number 10. For your final step, all we ask is that you never, ever put yourself in this situation again because it's VERY DANGEROUS, OKAY?! Thank you.
Don't want to follow our 10 official safety rules? Fine.
Maybe you'll listen to a wildlife expert's advice instead...
"These are not Elsie the cow. This is a wild animal that fights for aggression, fights for territory," wildlife expert Ron Magill told ABC News, "The best way to view wildlife is from a safe distance. You should never get closer than 20-30 yards to an animal. Realize how privileged we are to have these national parks. To have these areas where these animals can still exist."