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Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold authority over women, children, and property. It encourages male leadership, male domination, and male power. In patriarchal societies, women are collectively excluded from political, social, and economic positions of power.
Many of us are emerging from the patriarchal “rules” that tell women to be small and to be quiet; to accept their role as the dominated, inferior sex. One of the central ways this shows up in our everyday lives is so commonplace and familiar that we take it for granted, and yet within it lies an untapped power to upend patriarchy. It’s how we show up in relationships.
We may unknowingly hurt other women: Internalized misogyny is a tool used by patriarchy to keep women subordinate by diverting their attention from opposing patriarchy to fighting among themselves. Internalized misogyny can include:
• Mocking other women
• Labeling other women as sluts, stupid or weak
• Decreasing women's value
• Evaluating other women from their behavior, physical appearance, and even their private lives
Internalized Gender Roles in Dating –Who invites. Who drives. Who pays.
Internalized Gender Roles in Marriage – Unfair distribution of labor.
Self-Blame for Bad Relationships: Women often take responsibility for a relationship’s demise: As women we are conditioned to believe that our value lies in making relationships work; that the emotional realm is our domain and if relationships fail, it’s always our fault.
Fear of Being Real: fear that their true authenticity will cause injury to their relationships, this includes relationships with romantic partners, friends, co-workers, and family members. The truth is that it’s actually NOT the real you that causes injury to relationships; the injury to our relationships is the result of the patriarchy’s mandate that women lie or be silent in exchange for “love.”