Are You In a Sexless Marriage?


A "sexless marriage" can mean different things to different couples. What all sexless marriages have in common is lack of physical intimacy that may leave one or both partners feeling alienated, unsatisfied, and disconnected.

According to Psychology Today the feeling of disconnect is key. Lack of sex is not necessarily a problem if both partners aren't bothered by it. When lack of sexual intimacy becomes a source of stress for one or both spouses, their marriage may be at risk.

Some common reasons for a sexless marriage include: stress, unresolved conflict, erectile dysfunction, mismatched sex drives, depression and other medical conditions, boredom, and problematic porn use. Choose a comfortable time and place to talk about your sexual needs, desires, and expectations. This can be a hard conversation, but it's so important to be as honest as possible.

Avoid who is "right" or "wrong." Approach the conversation with the goal of truly understanding each other and helping each other feel heard. If help is needed meet with a licensed marriage and family therapist or other counselor who can help clarify your expectations and beliefs about sex and reach a solution that works for the both of you.

Whether you and your partner have no sex at all or simply not enough of it, it's important to be honest with each other about your physical intimacy needs. It is completely possible for you and your spouse to go from sexless to sexually satisfied.

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