A Tale Of Two Turtles

This is a rather amazing tale of a homecoming. The homecoming of a turtle.

Many years ago, someone in New Jersey found an unhatched turtle egg. As anyone would do, they took it to The Wetlands Institute, which is a place set up to deal with such a situation. The egg hatched, and a beautiful lady turtle was born. Soon enough, the folks at the Wetlands Institute released the turtle back into the wild.

Nice story.BUT WAIT THAT’S NOT ALL!

One day recently, a woman was walking down the street and saw a turtle crossing the road. That’s not where turtles should be perambulating. So she took the turtle to…..you guessed it…The Wetlands Institute.

Turns out, this turtle was equipped with something called a Passive Integrated Transponder tag. This tag contains information about the turtle’s age and other information.

So the mystery is: why did this turtle have this tag? I think you know the answer already:

IT WAS THE TURTLE THAT HATCHED FROM THAT EGG All THOSE YEARS AGO!!!

So, this wasn’t really a tale of two turtles. I lied about that. But I lied about it for a good reason: to set up an amazing twist ending to the story.

So here’s what we have learned. There is a great organization in New Jersey that saves turtles. And there is a turtle in New Jersey that can’t quite figure out where she is supposed to hang out.

Stay off the roads everybody, because The Wetlands institute won’t save you. You are not a turtle. (If you are in fact a turtle, please contact KFI immediately to be interviewed about how a turtle learned to go online and read.)

Bill Handel

Bill Handel

Listen to Bill Handel Weekdays from 6 to 10AM on KFI AM 640! Read more

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