Sorry, Shorty, but you're not that slick.
This is Clauvino da Silva, a.k.a. "Shorty", and he is one of the leaders of the Red Command command gang, a Brazilian group that controls much of Rio de Janeiro's drig traffic.
Shorty was being held in Gerecino prison when he hatched a plan.
He was going to escape.
How?
By walking right out the front door.
And that's exactly what he almost did.
He acquired an elaborate disguise, put it all on, and tried to walk his way to freedom by pretending to be his 19-year-old daughter.
Two problems:
- He left his daughter in his cell. Good luck getting too far when you leave your likely accomplice behind.
- DID YOU SEE HIS DISGUISE?!?!
All I want to do is rip into his disguise right now, but I can't.
I can't talk about how horrifying it is and how it clearly isn't a real person.
It's like looking at a B-version of "White Chicks."
But I can't make fun of that.
Why?
Because I have to make fun of the guards.
Shorty was not caught while he putting on the disguise.
He was not caught because someone noticed his disguise.
He was caught because he was acting nervous.
NERVOUS!!!
You've seen the video. You know what he looked like. You know his disguise was not convincing.
Despite all of it, the guards only caught him because he couldn't stay cool. (SMH, man. SMH...)
According to Los Angeles Times, he will face disciplinary actions and has been moved to a maximum security site.
(Maybe they'll be a little more observant...)