41-year-old British woman Debra Parsons is still grieving the death of her mother, so she's decided to season her Christmas dinner this year with her ashes.
Parsons says she's felt the urge to eat her mom's ashes since she died in May, and has been eating small spoonfuls of dust every day to help her deal with the loss.
She was a mess when her mom died earlier this year, and the Christmas season also marks the anniversary of the death of her son who was born prematurely in 1996. Parsons told the Mirror:
"It is the only thing that will get me through my first Christmas without mum. People might think I'm mad or that it's not a very respectful thing to do but I just can't stop myself.
I see it as a positive thing – allowing her to be close to me and also involving her in the family day. I feel like she can live on by being inside of me because if she is part of me she can breathe through my body - my breath is her breath. It will be my first Christmas without her and I want her to be involved and this is the only way that feels right to me."
The mother, Doreen Brown, died suddenly from an airway obstruction after having a chest infection.
Parson said she kept her mom's ashes in a plastic sandwich bag and carried it on her all the time. She also kept the remains in a small box, and one day she just felt the urge to consume them:
'I don't know what made me do it the first time – it was just an urge, I can't describe it. I opened the box and licked my fingers and just dipped them into the powder. Before I knew what I was doing they were in my mouth and the chalky, salty taste was comforting."
She says this Christmas, she plans on doing something very special:
"Christmas is a special time of year when you want to be close to the ones you love the most and I feel the loss of those that aren't here more strongly now than ever. But I don't want to just eat the ashes on my fingers – I'd like my mum to be a part of the celebration this year so I will have her with my Christmas dinner. We will have a place laid for her and a picture of her on the table so she can be with us on the very special day."