Not only are ear gauges stupid, they're bound to cause the downfall of anyone who has them.
Stereotypical looking Portland, Oregon resident Ashley Glawe is making the internet rounds today for getting her ball python, Bart, stuck in her earlobe.
She thought Bart was trying to attack her:
“What (it) felt like (was) he struck at my ear — I like froze instantly. I didn’t move because I really thought he was like attacking the side of my head."
But pythons aren't venomous, they constrict their prey. It turns out Bart went for the ear gape because pythons are drawn to holes.
And because we live in narcissistic selfie-culture, Glawe snapped a picture of herself and the snake through her ear.
She lubed up Bart with some cooking oil, but was not able to get him out:
“I knew I wasn’t going to be able to (remove him) without hurting him, by pulling him back against his scales."
Then the fire department showed up, and they couldn't even free Bart.
So Glawe was taken to an emergency room where her ear was numbed, lubed up again, and the serpent was slipped out.
Glawe left the E.R. with a bruised ear, and the snake left with no injuries.
A word of advice, don't mix snakes and ear gauges. It could be a very deadly combination.
One more word of advice, don't get ear gauges. Just don't. They're so ugly and dumb.